uneasy

Today Nathan and I were talking about housing and he said, "Sometimes I wonder if we're being too yuppie by insisting on living in the city instead of looking further out and saving some money." For some reason that set me off a little. I think this whole housing thing is an extremely emotional topic for me so any discussion about it gets me fired up. I was so excited that we had finally found the place. Knowing there's something solid to look forward to at the end of the road has made the waiting semi-bearable. I can imagine the house and imagine where each of our things will go, how we'll decorate...and now he suggests we keep looking.

First of all, I don't want to keep putting $100 down on places only to forfeit it. Right now we're $200 in which isn't a ton but if it keeps adding up it could be.

Secondly, I had no reason to get worked up as he wasn't even suggesting anything, just thinking outloud. And truthfully, he's right. We should keep looking to see if there's anything cheaper. I just feel like the whole process has been enough work. We've looked at something like 10 places and I've spent hours researching them all. I actually love doing it but I was thankful when we were finished. So of course after he brought this up I went online and searched Craigslist for things about $300 cheaper each month. I was surprised to find more than I thought I would. I made a new list of places we could consider...but I'm just not sure I want to. Not knowing where I'll be working makes it really hard because we can't determine what area would truly be best for us. I love Bellevue and it's perfect for Nathan so it at least satisfies 50%. No matter what one of us will have to commute so it's just a matter of who.

Maybe we started looking too soon, maybe the best thing will become available right before we're ready to move, I don't know. I'm still holding out hope for this place we love but it will all depend on the market rent. Our hope is that we can lock in at $1600 but they usually advertise it anywhere from $1700-$1950. We are guaranteed $300 off market rent but the guy told us the market can be up to $2000-$2500. However when we looked it at they were having a special rent of $1605/month so I'm guessing, if the economy continues to suck, we could be okay. Ughh. I just hate the not knowing right now. The closer I get to moving the more uneasy I feel about moving to a new place, starting a new job, not knowing anyone...I need some stability more than I thought I did. It makes my stomach do flips thinking about it.

I may have just packed my suitcase for Mexico 18 days early. I wanted to see what all I had and then ended up just packing it all. I don't need any of it considering it's raining and 40 degrees here so I won't miss the shorts, skirts and sandals that will sit in my suitcase for 3 weeks. I may just be a bit anxious!